Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
