So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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