You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
