What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
