I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
