What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
birth control should be required to get into college
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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