Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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