Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
