i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
