Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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