he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
