its not stalking. its research.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
