a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
