he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
