the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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