i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
