are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
