i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
