Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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