Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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