Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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