I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
