It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
