When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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