i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
