In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
