so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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