at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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