My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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