can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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