So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
