..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
