guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
