quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
