ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
