does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
