My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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