You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
