i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
