Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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