I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
