I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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