my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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