batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
