I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
