There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
