Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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