exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
