The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
