wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
